V. H. King's Ink

Deck: Grandma Baby Black Gold Lenormand Too || Cards: Corn; Ship; House

Sometimes a reading brings into focus the lessons I’ve been ruminating on for months. Whatever breakthrough I’ve been struggling to put into words, the cards reveal with symbols and concepts that resonate exactly how I need them to. That’s what happened here.

My January Update detailed my realization that the 19th was not the anniversary of my surgery; it was the culmination of a decade of medical gaslighting, neglect, and malpractice. I’ve spent the past three months grappling with that reality, coming to terms with the need to be still and let go. This spring feels like the beginning of a recovery. There were still some hard lessons I had to live through last year, and brain surgery was the catalyst for my learning.

I find myself feeling hopeful, although not for any specific outcome or turn or events. I’ve gone through plenty of changes in my daily reality. The drastic turns my health has taken, along with forcing a change in my living situation, became the occasion for me to drill deep into values. For all the pieces of my life that I was trying to fit into place, for all the ways I struggled to hold myself together when everything felt turned against me, I’ve slowly mined out the gems of my values, my identity, my purpose, my dreams.

So here’s a poem for you. I hope the verses discerned from this card reading reach you exactly in the ways they need to.

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Thunderstorms & Well-Springs

I approached this altar space with quiet
sincerity, acknowledging my need for rest,
embracing the knowledge of the us and ours.
holding myself gently, accepting
I am full of every legacy I need, imbued
with a destiny as-of-yet incomplete, and feeling
no shame in these things but only assurance
of faith and hope. so I spoke forth

my presence of heart and mind is this:
a desire to listen to my spirit between
the spaces of doing and resting;
trusting the Almighty to keep me
and fulfill all those dreams deposited
in me, even if the how of the way forward
is hidden from me; rejoicing in this now,
these morning moments of my every-day:

I uphold the truth of so many lives
valued in the fullness of all each one holds,
not as scapegoats nor martyrs nor saints
but as the divine humans we will always be,
declaring there is glory in this humanity
and everything about us the world fails
to honor. and as the cards answered me
so now I share with you this affirmation:

you are sowing an offering from your heart
into your creativity and your community;
reap also the harvest of sweetness
when it is time to rest your body,
spirit, and mind—for it is from this well
you may meet yourself and everyone else
with gentleness, kindness, and compassion.