V. H. King's Ink

I’ve spent so much of my life

preparing for the one day,

listening when people told me

challenges would fade 

at the next stage. others 

encouraged me to enjoy, embrace!

these were to be happy days–

>

but neither seemed quite right.

the pieces never seemed aligned;

bracing myself while gritting my teeth,

determined to get through

with my head held high. grace,

the praises rang: as if resilience

were the crown I should be proud

to wear. but no: I listened

>

to the ache gnawing its way

through muscle and marrow.

I felt the overburdened wheeze 

in my soul. I found ways to step

back while still moving forward. 

>

and it came to this: a day when 

I surrender, completely; despite

nagging lies and slips of shame,

I reset myself against common ideas

of merit and success. I will meet

the lies of self-sufficiency with reproach.

>

I will blur the lines others trace

around my identity, for many will see

as whole what is only in part.

my secrets are treasured in a dark so deep

the stars seem far, joy meets

weeping, and when I close my eyes,

I know the fullness of my being.