V. H. King's Ink

Today is December 1st. Why does that matter? Well, I’ll be making a special announcement about an upcoming project in a few days. And in order to prepare for said announcement, I’ve been a bit busy. Giving the website a bit of a makeover, handling some forms and paperwork, all that fun stuff. I made a commitment to giving others the chance to engage with my writing, and I’m sticking to it.

I’m still scared.

That advice about “Hope for the best and plan for the worst” isn’t half bad–except it doesn’t encourage you to prepare for things going well. I don’t know how this little project of mine is going to go. I’ve done a great job of over-complicating things to the point where I wondered if I might be better off not moving forward with this. Then I re-simplified it and took a deep breath. And then another round of anxiety and doubt caught me in its jaws.

Can I really do this?

Am I good enough?

Is this worth someone’s time, money, attention, care?

I don’t exactly have answers for those questions, and I haven’t managed to push them completely out of my mind. I have faith though. I have hope. I will do this. I can own the process of creating and sharing my content. I will commit to learning, both from others and from my own mistakes. I can hold my dream in my palms. May it come together piece by piece and all at once. May the fractured and splintered bits be worked into where they truly fit, rather than my trying to force them.

May this be 
what it needs to be, 
for whoever needs it, 
whenever they need it, 
however they need it.  

I think something incredible will happen. I think I will connect with people and find more support and encouragement than I used to let myself hope for. I think I’ll take chances and risks. I think I’ll find my footing along the way.

I’m too stubborn to quit. And I’m set on doing this my way. There will be other marketing or publishing or promotional techniques that work for others, but I’m not them. I’m me–and every part of this endeavor pushes me to believe in myself in ways I’ve never quite dared to, before. The work of sharing my writing and my art is an act of hopeful defiance.

Here’s to fear, and living out my story anyway.